Hello. My name is Yoko Ono Lennon. And I have own page of mine. It is mine. It is my own page. You are a retarded freak if you do not know who my husband is. Or was. He was John Lennon. My husband. Not with us anymore is he. Where is he? Is the question of my life. He is in the air I inhale through my nostrils. He is the food I eat. He is the water I brush my teeth with. I still talk with him. We have very interesting conversations, do we. Let me tell you about myself a little. A little. A little will I. My name is Yoko Ono Lennon and you are a retarded freak if you don't know who my husband is. Oh, I just said that. Pleased am I to have page mine. I rarly brush my black hair. For I wish not to disrupt the animals that live in there. Including squirrls, rabbits, raccons and skunks. Now tell you I will about my realtionship with John. We made love three times a day. I remeber just like it was yesterday. Oh, that is because made love we did just yesterday. He loves me. He whispers that in my ear everyday. But, he cannot get to my ear because of the squirrel that has made it's home in my ear canal. Here is a picture of my beautiful hair:
Fear not, my friend. Someday, if you try hard enough, you too will get my beautiful hair. And, yes, John was living in my hair also at one time. But, he moved out. He no longer resides there. Oh, and here, my friend, I found an old conversation between me and my late husband, the famous John Lennon. Here it is, my friend:
Myself: John, doing today what we are?
John: You mean what are we doing today, Yoko?
Myself: Oh, yes, John, brilliant are you. Let us make love in all our glory.
John: Not now, we have to go to the recording studio, Egg Yok!
Myself: What did call me you just, John? Name of myself thy not Egg Yok, yet Yoko.
John: Same difference. Let's go.
*drives to studio together, gets in the sound booth to record*
John: Alright, Egg Yok! We need to start reahersing. Get your voice in gear, Yok.
Myself: I will, John. La la la la la laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
John: Holy crap!!! What is THAT?! Did a bird posses you or sumethin'?
Myself: John, no! You are hilarious. Let us make love in all our glory.
John: No! This is not the time! Alright, let's start. *sings* You may say I'm a dreamer...
Myself: *screeches very loudly* But I'm not the only oneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ekkkkk!!! ahhhhhhhhh!!! whoaaaaaa!! Whooooooo!! Yeowwwwwwww! Meowwwww! Powwwwwwww!
John: Egg Yok! Snap out of it! Argh, forget it. You're hopeless.
Myself: Right you are my one, true love. Let us make love in all our glory.
John: No! Go do it with Paul.
Myself: Whatever you say my one, true love!
Ahhh, those were the days. I must go speak with John now, he is calling. Grow your hair long, make love and not war.
With deepest sympathy,
Yoko Ono- Lennon
